Octopus victim responds to new accusations:
Lies! Lies! Lies!
Anti-octopus bias in human media. Truth here.
Octopus awaken by yellow intruder stealing salmon information box. Intruder attack octopus, take property. Octopus not senile. Octopus have no interest in mating with yellow armless thing. Octopus only want box back.
Give octopus box back!
Cephalopod, crustacean, nudibranch unite in protest: "Things on seafloor ours!"
Anti-Defamation Leagues Under The Sea demand human apology, give box back.
Salmon call for independent investigation, cite "Human-Octopus Axis of Evil".