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Lyle Zapato

WARNING: Beware Of Beanie Snatchers

Lyle Zapato | 2006-06-06.3126 LMT | General Paranoia

In 2004 I reported on "aluminum thieves" targeting Cascadia. Well, the problem has gotten worse according to the Associated Press.

This time officials are blaming unexpected demand in Asia for increases in aluminum prices spurring theft. While it is true that the spread of AFDB awareness in China -- with over a billion potential paranoids -- will eventually increase aluminum demand, we haven't yet reached the paranoia penetration necessary to explain the wide-spread aluminum theft panic that is being fomented via the AP.

More likely, these reports of metal thieves are manufactured to dissuade paranoids from wearing their beanies in public, where they would be easy pickings for mind-controllers, or to provide plausible deniability for an increased campaign of AFDB snatchery by agents of mind control. Mind-control skeptics could be encouraged to dismiss what should otherwise be the obvious, orthonoia-shattering conclusion of a rash of missing beanies by peppering the media with reports of aluminum guard-rail and bleacher thefts.

In any case, make sure your AFBD is properly camouflaged to avoid detection by thieves after either metal or your mind. If you are detected, extra securing tape looped under facial traction points such as the chin or nose will help keep the beanie affixed to your cranium.

Lyle Zapato

Rahimi Gets Popular

Lyle Zapato | 2006-05-31.1860 LMT | Mind Control | General Paranoia | Technology

Popular Science magazine has a short, uncritical article once again pushing the flawed anti-AFDB study conducted by agents of MIT Media Lab -- the DARPA-funded organization founded by Nicholas Negroponte, brother of John Negroponte, Director of US National Intelligence and best buddy of Y.R. Tap.

In their credulous rush to attack unpopular science, PopSci doesn't bother to question the faulty methods of the study, even though they explicitly point out one of the most questionable:

The antenna, a stumpy plastic-coated stub, was fitted between the helmet and the subject's cranium to determine how much of a signal was absorbed or deflected before reaching the brain.

The MIT study conveniently never showed this arrangement, instead only showing the "stumpy" omnidirectional antenna sitting next to a beanie on a worktable (see highlighted photo in my rebuttle). Let's diagram how Rahimi et al.'s testing setup must have looked based on their description:

AFDB fitted with and without antenna
(A) AFDB fitted to cranium, per best practices.
(B) Antenna "fitted" between AFDB and cranium, per MIT study.

It is not unwarranted to suspect that the shielding properties of an AFDB will be affected by having it suspended at least three inches off of the cranium. It is troubling that both the study and the reporting on it in PopSci and other mainstream media gloss over this obvious and quite serious flaw.

Of course, given the nefarious provenance of the study, procedural flaws may be the least of its problems. Their data haven't been replicated yet -- as I noted before, the authors go out of their way to dissuade anyone from replicating the study by repeatedly stating how very expensive their equipment is -- so for all we know their findings could be completely fabricated. I wouldn't put it past the Negroponte brothers to pressure their agents to lie if they thought beanie abandonment would grip the paranoid community, thus making brain taps easier.

To the editors of Popular Science: Go back to peddling the fusion-powered flying cars you've been promising the public for the last 133 years and leave psychotronic shielding and mind-control science to those of us with books on the subject.

Lyle Zapato

AFDB Kit On eBay

Lyle Zapato | 2006-05-26.9250 LMT | Mind Control | Crass Commercialism

According to ZPi wire taps (a.k.a. the referral log), someone is selling an "AFDB kit" on eBay. Although the seller links to my site for added veracity, I have nothing to do with this item. The seller is vague about what's in the kit, but presumably aluminum foil is included since they suggest buying multiple kits for people with swollen heads.

Do not, I repeat, do not buy aluminum foil off of eBay that's claimed to be for use in anti-psychotronic shielding. It would be too easy for mind control agents to embed psychotronic circuitry in the foil which would compromise its effectiveness.

The only safe foil is the stuff being sold for kitchen use, since any embedded circuitry would cause noticeable and characteristic burn patterns on food cooked with it. As long as the forces of mind control don't know to what use the foil will be put, they won't risk adding the circuitry lest it conclusively expose their conspiracy to the wider orthonoid population, making the effort counter-productive.

Even if they were able to undetectably embed circuitry in the foil sold at supermarkets, any desired effect would be difficult to achieve due to the multiple layers used in proper AFDB construction, as well as the unpredictable foil-offset from the beginning of the roll, which would cause the circuits to be misaligned and produce erratic results that may work against the psycho-antagonist's agenda -- yet would still be bad for the wearer.

Precut foil sheets sold in "AFDB kits", however, can be produced such that all circuits align properly for predictable effect, especially if the included construction diagrams are followed. Given that the buyer will be a known paranoid or recovering orthonoid, this would make a tempting method for mind control agents seeking the mental capture of anti-psychotronic agitators.

Remember: Always make your own AFDB using materials that you gathered yourself. Trust no one -- especially not anyone trying to sell you pinto beans as "cow seeds"!

UPDATE: eBay yanked the AFDB kit, so don't bother clicking the link.

Lyle Zapato

ZPi Brokers International Peace

Lyle Zapato | 2006-05-13.2300 LMT | Letters | Politics | Crass Commercialism

Back in February I received an inquiry from Pakistan about purchasing "Aluminum Lead Tin Foil" (one of numerous such inquiries ZPi receives due to our high search-engine placement for "aluminum".)

Well, this morning I got an email from a representative of a metals company in India who had read the above post and wished to contact the original correspondent to offer a quote. I've sent them each other's contact info. Hopefully they can make a deal and provide more grassroots ties between the two adversarial nations, thereby lessening regional tensions and creating a global example that will eventually lead to world peace. All thanks to ZPi!

We here at ZPi are all about leveraging international misunderstandings of websites to spread peace through economic co-dependence. I'm pretty sure we've always been about that. Yes. And with that in mind...

Someone else in India is looking for "Aluminum Foil stand-up pouch(es)" in various sizes, both plain and Ziplock. Any Pakistanis, Chinese, or anyone else that can hook them up, let me know and I'll get you in touch.

UPDATE: I've also got an Egyptian who is looking for 3 tons of triplex aluminum foil printed in one color ("for INDOCID SUPPOSITORY 100 MG") and another 3 tons of same unprinted. The foil should be 45 microns thick, coated inside with PE 20 microns and outside with PP 18 microns, width 58mm, printed on one side (on Polypropylene SID). This is your chance to bring peace to the Middle East. Don't let it slip away.

Lyle Zapato

MIT Mind-Reading Device

Lyle Zapato | 2006-04-06.9035 LMT | Mind Control | Technology | General Paranoia

You may remember MIT Media Lab, the DARPA-funded organization that previously issued a fatally flawed study that found deflector beanie technology worthless, if not counter-productive.

Well, Tuesday at the 2006 Body Sensor Network Conference, one of their research teams revealed that they have been working on a government-funded mind-reading device. Why am I not shocked?

The ESP: Emotional Social Intelligence Prosthetic enables a speaker to detect boredom in a listener via a vibrating belt. While not a true mind-reading device since it only infers affective-cognitive mental states via facial signals, it clearly shows that MIT is working on invading people's minds to learn their secrets. From the ESP mission statement:

In psychology, theory of mind or "mind-reading" describes our ability to attribute mental states to others from their behavior and to use that knowledge to guide our actions and predict those of others.

Of course, this touchy-feely device is only being released to condition public acceptance of wearable mind-reading doodads. Presumably their more invasive psychotronics-based MR technology -- technology that would, coincidentally, be rendered useless with wide-spread adoption of deflector beanies -- is only being shared with their partners in the Military-Industrial Complex (the ESP project is funded by the National Science Foundation, a government agency in league with DARPA).

Of note: the founder of Media Lab, Nicholas Negroponte, is the brother of John Negroponte, Director of National Intelligence, who oversees all US intelligence agencies including the CIA, FBI, NSA, NGA, NRO, and others interested in either reading or altering your mind.

Nicholas' current project with Media Labs is a universal mind-control delivery platform targeted at the Third World. I am working on getting one of these devices from undercover paranoid agents to see if MindGuard can be made to run on it. Hopefully the underprivileged children of the world won't have to fall victim to the nefarious schemes of the Negroponte brothers.

Lyle Zapato

Looking For Some Aluminum?

Lyle Zapato | 2006-03-04.5420 LMT | General Paranoia
Looking For Some ALUMINUM?

United Nuclear -- fine purveyors of Van de Graaf generators, neodymium magnets, lasers, uranium, and other useful supplies to hobbyists and paranoid enthusiasts -- is being threatened by the US Consumer Product Safety Commission (home of Kidd Safety) with criminal action for selling certain products to people without an explosives manufacturing license. And just what sort of dangerous substances are on the CPSC's list?

Not sell, give away or otherwise distribute any of the following Metals for which the particle size is finer than 100 mesh (or particles less than 150 microns in size) to any recipient who does not possess a valid manufacturing license for explosives issued by the ATF:

Aluminum and Aluminum alloys
....

Ostensibly the CPSC is concerned about the use of aluminum powder in the manufacture of illegal fireworks. However, given their obsession with government approved helmets, it's safe to say what they're really concerned about is the powder being used as an undetectable anti-psychotronic coating for common head wear.

Just another step towards the eventual outlawing of private aluminum ownership? Undoubtedly. Stockpile while you can.

Lyle Zapato

Aluminum Lead Tin Foil

Lyle Zapato | 2006-03-01.4810 LMT | Letters

One of the many business inquiries from Pakistan we get at ZPi:

Sent: Thursday, February 23, 2006 07:47
Subject: Re: Aluminum lead tin foil

Dear Sir or Madam

Hope that you will be fine. We are looking for Aluminum Lead Tin Foil 0.15MM Thick Spec: BS/STA 7L-X-1/1. Please quote 1400 Kg.This is the trial order. Our actual order is more bigger than 14000Kg.

Awaiting your early reply.The Matter is Most Urgent.

Thanks
[Name Withheld]

To which I replied:

Dear Sir and/or Madam

Sorry for the delay on this Most Urgent Matter. My busy schedule, filled as it is with meetings, conferences, and other manner of symposia, has left me negligent in promptly responding to my email. I offer you my sincerest apologies.

Unfortunately I must inform you that we do not sell metals of any quantities. We are in the business -- or as may be said, the vocation -- of informing people of the proper use of aluminum foil for blocking psychotronic mind control transmissions by various agencies governmental, corporate, and paraterrestrial.

If you are in need of our services, we can provide you, free of charge, with informative materials that can be used to protect you and your employees from hazardous workplace mind control often employed by business competitors attempting to undermine productivity and/or steal trade secrets.

Please understand though that we cannot assist you if you engage in any of the aforementioned activities, as this is counterindicated by our mission statement.

I await your most welcome and timely reply.

Regards,
Lyle Zapato

We'll see if they write back or if my unfortunate delay in responding to their urgent call for deflective foils has inadvertently caused them to succumb to their psychotronic enemies.

Lyle Zapato

Aluminum Foil Deflector Bucky

Lyle Zapato | 2006-02-19.8320 LMT | Mind Control | Entertainment

'Get Fuzzy' 2006-02-19, copyright Darby Conley

I was perhaps too hasty when I implied Darby Conley was helping the Belgium Conspiracy with reverse psychology (the comic linked to in that post is now missing -- if anyone has a copy of the panel where Satchel reveals the truth that Belgium doesn't exist, please send me a scan.)

With today's comic, I now believe that Darby is in fact a double agent slyly introducing key paranoid concepts in ways that his handlers at the NWO-controlled Syndicate will find unobjectionable. By cleverly disguising an AFDB as a mere prognosticap, the Syndicate will think that Darby is mocking beanie usage, while the actual effect of the mocking is to subtly hint at the true purpose of Bucky's hat.

There are, however, problems with Bucky's design:

Bucky Katt, copyright Darby Conley

While the Quaker-style cylindrical deflection manifold will offer a maximum of lateral diffusion, the top is shown unfoiled, allowing satellites and UFOs unrestricted access to the wearer's brain. Also, the pointy end of the coat hanger could puncture the foil surface as it bobs with the weight of the star, leading to catastrophic beanie failure. Presumably Darby included these design flaws to deflect the Syndicate from his true agenda. Budding paranoids, it's hoped, will copy the spirit of Bucky's hat and not his exact design.

(P.S. No one tell the Syndicate that Darby's working for us.)

UPDATE 2006-06-24: More on Conley's paranoia propagation...

Lyle Zapato

Response To The Chilliwack Progress

Lyle Zapato | 2006-01-22.9800 LMT | Mind Control | Letters | Complaints Department

Arthur Black's Jan. 22 editorial "Paranoid? Who's paranoid?" claims that the paranoid community hasn't responded to the MIT paper impugning the effectiveness of Deflector Beanie technology. This is false. The MIT paper was debunked last November, as can be read here on my website.

In short, the MIT experiment was unsuitable for the phenomenon in question and had procedural irregularities that would have disqualified it from a reputable peer-reviewed journal.

As the published author of one of the seminal works on personal mind-control protection using aluminum foil, I find it odd that I was not contacted by Mr. Black for a quote. Regardless, simple research on his part would have revealed the response to the MIT paper (it's the very first hit on Google for "'deflector beanie' MIT").

That Mr. Black either chose not to do any research or to ignore the existence of a response brings into question his competency as a journalist. I would expect such behavior from a writer for the Chilliwack Times, but I am disheartened to see it in someone from the Chilliwack Progress. I hope this is not indicative of a lowering of journalistic standards in our great Republic of Cascadia.

Regards,
Lyle Zapato

Lyle Zapato

Super Gnathal Fun Deflection!

Lyle Zapato | 2005-12-28.7540 LMT | Mind Control | Fashion | Random Found Thing

Japanese paranoids now have a product to deflect basal psychotronics:

The above device is called アルミニ重あごシェイプ, which Babel Fish helpfully translates as "Aluminum it is heavy gnathal Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers, europe". Those wacky Japanese with their wacky names!

In Western terms, it's a self-adhesive aluminum gnathic shield designed to protect the underside of the forebrain from psychotronic rays coming from nefarious downstairs neighbors (apparently a pesky problem in highrise-riddled Japan), boreshipmen, talpidytes, and other assorted underground forces of mind control.

Its maker, Akaishi -- who markets it via third parties as a "face care" product to get around Japanese anti-mind-control-device trade laws -- also offers a version that shields most of the face, less creatively called アルミ顔やせマスク ("aluminum face and something mask"):

For full facial deflection effect, the mask should be used with corundum-lensed goggles and an aluminum respirator. Of course, both devices are pointlessly incomplete without an AFDB.

While we here at ZPi do not condone the use of prêt-à-porter aluminum shielding devices as they may contain hidden psychotronic circuitry, we do approve of cute, paranoid Japanese models in little black dresses, so we'll overlook the mental security flaws this time.

(Found via Tokyo Damage Report, which has pics of the packaging for these and other amusing-yet-less-topical products.)