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Lyle Zapato

Commie Linux vs. Berlusconi

Lyle Zapato | 2005-04-30.4200 LMT | Politics | Art

(This is the newer version.)

This is almost a year old, but I just now discovered it: "Un pinguino comunista contro il sito di Forza Italia".

Last June, some naughty person defaced the website of Forza Italia, the political party of Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi, using the original version of my Commie Linux wallpaper (or rather a screenshot of it being used as a Windowmaker desktop). The odd thing is, from what I can Babelfish together, the defacing was done anonymously (no 133+ bragging, political statements, or shout-outs to people with handles like Neo or Wintermute) and the site's server was running Linux, making the choice seem a non sequitur. Maybe the perpetrator just really liked my drawing and wanted to share it with all of Italy.

I don't know if they ever found who did it, but if they're still looking, it's not "Comrade Zapato".

Searching around, I also uncovered another appearance of lil' Trots the Commie Penguin in Italy: La Casa Del Popolo is a blog that's presumably anti-Berlusconi (given the entries I skimmed) and uses the screenshot version of the image for its masthead (complete with scaled down Windowmaker title bar at the top).

Lyle Zapato

Now In Aussie Supermarkets...

Lyle Zapato | 2005-04-27.4200 LMT | Food

Vegemite Toast Crunch

Vegemite Toast Crunch: an abomination or pure genius? You be the judge.

Lyle Zapato

Fonts: Submarine vs. Whale

Lyle Zapato | 2005-04-25.5400 LMT | Fonts | Nature

Type sample

Submarine vs. Whale is an Art-Nouveau-ish font based on the heading of a 1911 illustrated account of Lieutenant Chester W. Nimitz's encounter with whales while commanding the USS Narwhal. It's cleaner than the original, but still has some irregularity in the curves to give it character. Great for tales of underwater Edwardian adventure!

Lyle Zapato

Fonts: Duarte Centenario y Duarte Juramento

Lyle Zapato | 2005-04-20.6000 LMT | Fonts | Philately

Here are two fonts I just created...

Type sample

Duarte Centenario is a somewhat irregular title font. Good for your resistance movement's posters calling for the overthrow of foreign rule.

Type sample

Duarte Juramento works well for comic lettering. Or serious lettering.

This pseudo-family is based off of hand lettering from a 1938 Dominican Republic stamp (Scott #335) honoring the centennial of La Trinitaria, an underground resistance movement led by Juan Pablo Duarte that helped repel the Haitians from the eastern side of Hispaniola. The country name and the names of the three founding Trinitarios (Duarte, Francisco del Rosario Sánchez, and Ramón Matías Mella) were written in what is now Centenario. The entire Oath of the Trinitarios (including vexillogical directives) was squeezed into a triangle of microprint, which I have made into Juramento. (Both the originals had no accents, but the fonts have full sets of accented glyphs.)

I have also created a fonts page to house them and any future fonts I make.

Lyle Zapato

Uncyclopedia On Belgium

Lyle Zapato | 2005-04-15.6310 LMT | Belgian Conspiracy | Crass Commercialism
The Belgian... he thinks he is superior to you.

Thanks to the magic of referral logs, I have learned of Uncyclopedia and their article on "Belgium".

Unlike Wikipedia, whose article on Belgium is chock-full of the Belgian Conspiracy's disinformation and only briefly mentions Belgium's non-existence with a link to my site sneakily hidden -- no doubt by a loyal ZPi reader -- at the bottom (sure to be edited out soon enough), Uncyclopedia dares to tell the Truth.

Currently Uncyclopedia's article is shorter than mine, but I'm sure it will grow as more contribute to the distributed debunking of Belgium. It already offers additional insight into the Conspiracy's machinations, including uncovering a joint Belgian-Japanese plot to propagandize Belgium using Japanese tourists and photos of "Manneken Pis" (link unsafe for work or leisure).

Incidentally, the picture of the Belgian that accompanies the article was taken from my Belgium Doesn't Exist Cafepress shop. I point this out for the edification of those interested in Internetainment trivia, not for the sake of crass commercialism.

Lyle Zapato

Warrior Monks: The Belgian Connection

Lyle Zapato | 2005-04-12.2100 LMT | Belgian Conspiracy | NWO

In "The First Earth Battalion: Dare to Think the Unthinkable, Ideas and Ideals for Soldiers Everywhere," a document created in 1979 from research done at the US Army War College to counter advances made by extra-NWO Chinese military psychics, we are introduced to a number of concepts that were to be the blueprint for a NWO global police force of "warrior monks" disciplined in New Age technologies.

The paper predicted that by 1990 the First Earth Battalion "may be a pilot community of warrior-monks who completely recycle all resources, live amidst new nuclear reactors and [await] deployment to tension spots." Whether this came to pass or not is uncertain, as details of any further developments were never released.

This is all well documented in the paranoid literature; however, I have discovered a significant detail that has gone overlooked by conspirologists. In the document, we learn that warrior monks will use the following techniques and substances to tune themselves for battle (emphasis mine):

BATTLE TUNING

Using traditional and New Age ideas:

  • Rise
  • Yogic cat stretch
  • Primal scream and leap
  • Belgian waffle*
  • Ginseng tab regulator
  • Speed or morning thunder tea
  • Karate kata
  • Primal low frequency lights
  • Paced primal rock in our ears
  • Discordant sounds for them
  • Advance

Here we see the hand of the Belgian Conspiracy.

This led me to the following realization: if the Belgians are involved with the FEB, could it be that noted Belgian intrigant Jean-Claude Van Damme is actually one of these warrior monks, or at least a FEB agent working to condition the public to accept warrior monk policing? His oeuvre -- which includes Universal Soldier, about a secret government program to create supersoldiers -- seems to suggests the latter. That his career took off around the time that the document predicted the establishment of pilot warrior-monk communities also suggests that the First Earth Battalion program is both active and on schedule.

Van Damme is currently residing in Vancouver, B.C. It may be that he or his handlers realized that I was close to connecting the dots and have positioned him within Cascadia to assassinate me in order to keep the progress of the warrior monk program under wraps. I am preparing countermeasures for this contingency, but if I am discovered kicked to death, make sure this information gets out.

* NOTE: The Belgian waffle is not from Belgium, obviously. It was developed by the Culinary Institute of America, a government front, and initially tested on an unsuspecting public at the 1964 World's Fair in New York. This was the same fair that saw the unveiling of Disney's prototype psychogesticular hypnosis device called "It's a Small World," not to mention the further pushing of the monorailist agenda. Beware the fair.

Lyle Zapato

Faraday Tents

Lyle Zapato | 2005-03-23.4210 LMT | Technology | Aluminum | Belgian Conspiracy | NWO
Faraday Tent and diagram

A helpful reader emailed to inform me of a company he learned about called Holland Shielding Systems B.V., makers of RF-shielded enclosures and tempest equipment. They have many types of Faraday cages*, including their "Faraday tents", shown on the right.

At first I thought that this might be a good source for paranoid computer accessories, but then I noticed something suspicious. Their main website's domain is faradaycages.com -- sure to be found by anyone in the market for a Faraday cage, and in fact shows up on top as a sponsored link on a Google search -- and they conspicuously claim in the masthead to be from the Netherlands. However, if you click on any subpage on the site the actual URL of the page is hidden via a frame. And what is the domain used by their subpages?

hollandshielding.be!

That's right, Holland Shielding Systems B.V. is really a front for the Belgian Conspiracy! Clearly they are trying to undermine paranoidal use of AFDB and related technology with Faraday cage disinformation.

It is a common myth that AFDBs are ineffective since they are not proper Faraday cages (i.e. not completely enclosing). While Faraday cage configurations are needed to shield standard RF transmissions -- their main application -- they are not needed for protection against psychotronic mind control, which is based on psychotronic energy, a highly modified form of electromagnetic energy that can interact with neural tissues much more effectively than standard EM and is deflected by certain substances, most notably aluminum. The deflective field of an AFDB more than overlaps the brain, protecting the user from all but targeted basal-orthogonal attacks with medium- to high-power psychotronic ray guns, which can be countered by lining one's shoes and pants seat with foil.

Please, don't be fooled by crypto-Belgians promising to replace your beanie with a tent of dubious efficacy for psychotronic use.

* Faraday cages are named in honor of Michael Faraday. Before going on to make a name for himself with dynamos and benzene, Faraday was an "assistant" to Humphry Davy, the man who exposed the arcane psychotronic secret of Aluminum to the general public in 1807. After Davy's treachery against the mind control elite (explained in page-padding detail in my book), the NWO arranged for a 20-year-old loyal Orderist named Faraday to become Davy's handler -- to watch over him while the NWO engaged in damage control -- by temporarily blinding Davy in an "accidental" laboratory explosion, thus forcing him to seek Faraday's assistance. This was a prelude to Davy's "knighthood" (i.e. the psychotronic reformatting of his brain) the following year.

Lyle Zapato

Lord Kelvin Exhibit

Lyle Zapato | 2005-03-23.3250 LMT | Kelviniana | Announcement
Lyle Zapato

Mighty Cascadia Rumbles

Lyle Zapato | 2005-03-08.9250 LMT | Cascadia | Field Trips

Mount St. Helens has erupted again. Don't worry, you'll be hearing more than you care to know about it soon enough. When you're watching the live coverage on the news tomorrow with the reporter standing in front of the mountain, you may wonder what it looks like behind the scenes. For a taste, here's a panorama I took of the Media Circus that followed the minor burp last October:

Media Circus Panorama Thumbnail
Photo taken October 4, 2004. (Click to enlarge.)

It's kind of hard to see in the scaled down version, but there was a reporter doing a shoot at the time. Here's a close up:

Reporter

Anyway, the Media was segregated in a lot a few miles away from Coldwater Ridge Visitor Center (the closest, then-open facility to the mountain,) so they wouldn't pester the Normals. A few Media People did manage to escape the paddock and sneak their way to the visitor center though, as I was approached there by a roving reporter from some Canadian radio network soliciting human interest soundbites with a tape recorder. He seemed slightly disappointed when I declined to comment, but luckily the person next to me was chomping at the bit to tell Canadians all about his life-long love of volcanology.

Given the larger scale of the newest eruption, the Media Circus will probably be much larger this time. Then again, since it was only five months since the Media last visited, and especially since nothing blew up when they were there, the novelty may still be worn off. We'll see.

Lyle Zapato

GPM #13: Deoxys

Lyle Zapato | 2005-03-06.3100 LMT | Government Propaganda Mascots
Deoxys

Originally created as an experiment in overly aggressive psyoptic mind control aimed at children, Pokémon has since evolved into an all-embracing lifestyle for it's many fans. So it should come as no surprise that a Government agency has tapped into the power of Pokémon to condition young minds.

NASA has teamed with Nintendo of America Inc. to create an in-school program that will introduce K-6 students of North America to a new GPM called Deoxys, a space-virus type Pokémon that teaches children about extraterrestrial illnesses that can mutated into collectable fighting buddies when exposed to lasers.

Besides being part of a larger ploy by the Pokémon Company to replace all biology classes with Pokémonology studies -- thereby conditioning future generations to accept, and desire to purchase as pets, the genetically engineered lifeforms being developed on a small island off the coast of Sakhalin which Pokémon are based on -- the program synergizes with NASA's gradual revelation of the existence of Paraterrestrials to society, as well as their mandate to monitor the activities of citizens from orbit.

According to the press release, the program includes "awareness bracelets." They would like you to think that these are to promote awareness of space-virus-related issues among kids, but in fact they're designed to provide them awareness of your child's every movement. The bracelets are a replacement for the school "identification badges" (actually RFID tracking devices) that were found to not yet be acceptable to the public in a trial program earlier this year. The Deoxys program lets them reissue the same technology under the cover of Pokémania paraphernalia. (It's no coincidence that NASA is planning to relaunch its shuttle program shortly after the introduction of Deoxys materials into schools, as they need to attach a Pokémon bracelet detection unit to the ISS.)