ZPi Logo "Serving the Paranoid
since 1997"
Radical Sasquatch

HOWL: MORE TRUTH ABOUT MARS!!!

Radical Sasquatch | 2008-01-23.6910 LMT | Sasquatch Issues | Paraterrestrials

In a PREVIOUS HOWL I revealed the TRUTH about planet Mars: IT IS THE ANCESTRAL HOMELAND OF SASQUATCH!!!


EVIDENCE THAT SASQUATCH ANCESTORS ONCE STOMPED ON MARS!!!

At the time, I howled on the SASQUATCH MILITIA to launch a SASQUATCH SPACE INITIATIVE to see if any of our ancestors are still on Mars, so that we may contact them for SPACE BARTER and CULTURAL EXCHANGE!!! So far they have ignored my howls!

BUT NOW, thanks to NOSY HUMANS at NASA!!! and their SPY "ROVERS", new evidence has come to light that OUR HOMINOID BROTHERS STILL LIVE ON MARS:


ORIGINAL NASA!!! PHOTO (5.7 MIO JAY-PEG IMAGE)
ENHANCED USING ZPI MARSQUATCH-IMAGE PROCESSING TECHNOLOGY!!!

Although I do not approve of the CRYPTOPERVERTS at NASA!!! taking this INVASIVE PHOTO -- which CLEARLY shows a JUVENILE MARSQUATCH roaming the VAST MARTIAN DESERTS, probably in search of MARSQUID -- it does VALIDATE my howl for a SASQUATCH SPACE INITIATIVE!!!

The elders of SASQUATCH MILITIA cannot ignore my howls any longer; we must MAKE FIRST CONTACT with the Marsquatch before the Humans get there and CREEP THEM OUT with their LEERING and FOOT FETISHISM!!!

AS SOON AS SASQUATCHLY POSSIBLE, we must hurl a SPACE LOG piloted by our bravest ASTROSQUATCHES toward Mars so that we can REUNIFY the distant branches of Hominoid kind, WARN the Marsquatch about the dangers of Human cryptoperversion, and GAIN BARTER ACCESS to their supply of DELICIOUS MARSQUID!!! It is HOMINOIDIFEST DESTINY!!!

Until then... NERD HUMANS OF NASA!!!, HEAR MY HOWL: Do not invade the privacy of Masquatch! TURN OFF ALL YOUR MARS SPY CAMERAS IMMEDIATELY!!!

End of post.