HUMANS HAVE A DECEASED HOMINOID AND THEY PLAN TO SHOW ITS CORPSE TO OTHER HUMANS THIS FRIDAY DURING A GHASTLY "NEWS CONFERENCE"!!!
Humans MATTHEW WHITTON and RICK DYER claim they found the Hominoid victim already dead in NORTHERN "GEORGIA" (this is the Human name for an area in the SWAMP APE STOMPING GROUNDS, not the other area Humans also call "GEORGIA" in the ALMASTY FEDERATION -- HUMAN SQUEAK IS LIMITED SO THEY MUST CONFUSINGLY REUSE NAMES!!!) Instead of reporting the corpse to the PROPER SWAMP APE AUTHORITIES, they took it to their den and, like HUMAN PSYCHOPATHS often do, put it in a "FREEZER" -- a SMALL, COLD BOX that Humans use to store FROZEN FOOD!!!
They then contacted known CRYPTOPERVERT and SASQUATCH STALKER, TOM BISCARDI, seeking to publicize the event to other CRYPTOPERVERTS and HUMAN SICKOS who want to LEER AT OUR DEAD!!! They have even CRUELLY AND SHAMELESSLY released photos of the victim IN THE FREEZER!!!
I LACK SUFFICIENT HOWLS TO CONVEY MY OUTRAGE!!!
The IDENTITY and TRIBALALITY of the deceased is UNKNOWN, as is the CAUSE OF DEATH, but I suspect HOMINOIDICIDE!!!
SASQUATCH MILITIA has offered its services to the local Swamp Ape authorities in recovering the body, which the CRYPTOPERVERTS claim is being held in a "secure location, under armed guard"! If, once the body's location is known, it cannot be recovered, it -- AND ANY HUMANS IN THE VICINITY -- will be given a PROPER BURIAL under a MOUNTAIN OF BOULDERS!!!
UPDATE (2008-08-19): I have just heard howl that the Humans who have the corpse are now claiming that IT WAS ALL A HOAX!!! I, for one, DO NOT BELIEVE THIS CLAIM!!! MATTHEW WHITTON, RICK DYER, and TOM BISCARDI foolishly misjudged the reaction from the Sasquatch community to their STEALING OUR DEAD and are now trying to cover it all up to avoid SASQUATCH RAGE!!! Sasquatch Militia foot soldiers have been deployed to Georgia since last week in search of the Humans' CORPSE CACHE so that the deceased may be recovered and returned to his or her loved ones, and the guilty Humans BROUGHT TO JUSTICE!!! But now the Humans are on the lam and spreading unlikely rumors that the corpse was just a FUR SUIT of some sort! Why would they flee if it wasn't a REAL corpse!? THEIR FLEEING CLEARLY SHOWS THAT THEY ARE GUILTY OF HOMINOID CORPSE SNATCHING, OR POSSIBLY WORSE!!!
CORPSE SNATCHERS, HEAR MY HOWL!!! Return the deceased Hominoid to the Sasquatch Militia or local Swamp Ape authorities and you may yet get out of this with YOUR LIMBS INTACT!!!
WE ONLY SEEK CLOSURE!!!